Posted by Jon in HB | 12:07 AM | 5 comments »

We've got 'em again. A couple of years ago we had a rat in our attic. I'll never forget the call i got at work when Gina was screaming that they were poking their way through the ceiling attacking her and the kids (not exactly, but it makes for good blogging stories). But there was a big one up there. So big that Gina's Grandma's handy-man happened to be over doing some work for us and he set a trap for it. When he caught it, I was told that it filled up a shoe box and it was the biggest rat that the guy had ever seen.

Well it's back. And Grandma no longer has a handy-man around. So now it's my job to step up and take care of business.

This little sucker is smart. I first heard him about a week ago. I was putting Dylan to bed and I thought I heard a little scurrying across the the ceiling in his room. And my kid has the most panic crazed thoughts that I did not want to scare him. Seriously Dylan worries about if there is no such thing as God and Heaven. What if it's only the Devil and Hell and he's just making up the good stuff so people won't be so freaked out that every one will spend eternity in Hell after they die. Seriously! And he's only seven! Too Kafka-esque for me. So do you think I'm gonna acknowledge that I thought I heard a rat above his ceiling as I tuck him in, Hell no!

Then a few days later Gina and I are in bed talking before we go to sleep and we hear it again. At this point i have to fess up that I've heard it before, it didn't go away, and I will have to be the big man and take care of it and protect my family.

So a few days later I find myself at Home Depot staring at the billions of options for killing things that should not be in your house. There are really expensive sonic/electronic devices. There are humane little cage things. There is poison. There are the old fashion traps. But I decide on the glue traps.

A large square of plastic filled with a very gooey sticky stuff that traps them. I thought this would be good, no big spring trap to crush them and possible get blood and guts all over. So I wait til the kids are asleep and put a ladder in our closet to access the attic. I clear a little spot on the rafters and set the trap with a bit of peanut butter for bait.

The next night I look for my prize catch. THAT LITTLE SHIT WAS TOYING WITH ME! There was the trap with fur stuck to it and little nail marks in the glue. It checked it out and got away!

Well no more Mr. Nice Guy! I bought a big ass trap, loaded it with peanut butter and smiled while I set it.

His ass is mine. Nobody mocks me! Who does he think he is. No I wait. Tomorrow night i will one again make the trek up the ladder to see what me efforts will produce...

Ha ha ha ha haha!!!


  1. VikingMom // November 14, 2008 at 7:24 AM  

    Good luck with that. Rats and I do not have a good relational history. I do know that Brandon Bruce is now an expert if your rat still eludes you. If all else fails you can just leash the rat and turn it into a family pet! Wouldn't that be fun?

  2. Kristi // November 14, 2008 at 3:14 PM  

    Um HELLO? Did you not watch Ratitouille? The rats have caught on. They know about the traps now.

  3. Kristi // November 14, 2008 at 3:15 PM  

    You might as well bring him into the kitchen and let him start cooking...

  4. Heidi // November 14, 2008 at 9:01 PM  

    Hmmmmm..... eewww.

    Rats are gross.

    Good luck!

  5. Billy // November 15, 2008 at 9:37 AM  

    About a year or so ago, we lost the video connection to the chapel at church. I started to investigate and found out a rat had chewed through the video cable. Brandon took care of him. I repaired the cable.

    If you want to see a cool picture ask Brandon to show you his rat picture.