Inside My Studio

Posted by Jon in HB | 7:38 PM | 3 comments »


Admit it! You've all seen the show. James Lipton cruising through a skyscraper stack of blue note cards, delving deep in to the guest's innermost tragic and personal issues; like how he was the fat kid in high school so acting was his escape, or how she was told by her drunk mother that she would never amount to anything and winning the Oscar was her pay back, or how his struggle with heroine really taught him how to get to that dark place inside of them that helped them in their latest role. They talk about their "craft" and how great it was to work with that director that was accused of rape (he's just misunderstood). Then they all talk about that time they worked with Al, Jack, Marlon, or Meryl. They call Scorsese "Marty" and DeNiro "Bobby."

Finally it's time! Time for the questions. Those ten questions James asks every one on the show. They were adapted from a questionnaire written by the French television host (you have to read this in your best pompous French accent) Bernard Pivot. This is the part of the show where every actor looks as if they've never heard of this part of the show. Or they have that look on their face like, "oh, my gosh! I was not expecting this! I totally forgot that you ask these questions! You've caught me totally of guard!" When you know they've been writing and rewriting their responses since the minute their agent told them they were going to be on the show. Then as James asks each question the actor thinks long and hard, trying to sound insightful or profound, or they try to sound quick witted and spontaneous.

It's actually an interesting questionnaire and if you haven't thought of your own answers for it, your a liar. Since I am resigned to the fact that my fame will never reach outside of my house (or outside of my head, as my Gina might say) I know that I will never sit on that stage to answer those questions. So here it goes, this is my personal, one sided blog interview with James Lipton as he asks me those famous ten questions...

..........................................................................................................................
James: Jon, what is your favorite word?

Jon: I love to use cacophony and frenetic as often as possible, but only if it truly fits in to conversation. I wouldn't go out of my way to use it. But there are times when those words are the most appropriate words to use.

James: What is your least favorite word?

Jon: Tampon.

James: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Jon: Other people's creativity, spirituality, or emotions. I feed off others that are truly in to something and go from there.

James: What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Jon: Humidity.

James: What sound or noise do you love?

Jon: Locusts on a warm summer night. But in the air conditioning away from the humidity.

James: What sound or noise do you hate?

Jon: Non stop dog barking.

James: What is your favorite curse word?

Jon: In front of children it is 'Sassafras'. After they go to bed...it's the F-word I go to most often.

James: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Jon: I would love to be able to sit in front of a piano and play and sing anything. Billy Joel, Elton John, guys like that amaze me!

James: What profession would you not like to do?

Jon: Anything involving adult diapers.

James: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Jon: "Well done, good and faithful servant!"


...and scene.

3 comments

  1. discomommy // August 7, 2008 at 10:29 AM  

    I have never wanted to be an actor so sitting on that stage has never crossed my mind. But I will play your little game anyway.

    James: Gina, what is your favorite word?

    Gina: Crap

    James: What is your least favorite word?

    Gina: Cunt

    James: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

    Gina: School. I LOVE school. I love learning, studying, reading, taking notes, etc. etc. I have a burning desire in my belly to go back to school. It would be so hot!

    James: What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

    Gina: A messy house. I cannot think or focus in chaos.

    James: What sound or noise do you love?

    Gina: Waves crashing on a quiet beach.

    James: What sound or noise do you hate?

    Gina: Twitching toes and the sound my husband makes with his tongue. YUCK!

    James: What is your favorite curse word?

    Gina: Shit

    James: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

    Gina: Forensics. Man do I want to be Kay Scarpetta!

    James: What profession would you not like to do?

    Gina: Anything involving being famous or politics. I could handle being rich but not being famous...or a liar!

    James: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

    Gina: "Thank you for believing in me!"

  2. Kristi // August 7, 2008 at 4:15 PM  

    I want to play too!


    James: Kristi, what is your favorite word?

    Kristi: Pumpernickel

    James: What is your least favorite word?

    Kristi: Panties.

    James: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

    Kristi: Art performed with Excellence: Dance, Music, and Drama. And watching people worship freely.

    James: What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

    Kristi: Selfishness.

    James: What sound or noise do you love?

    Kristi: My kids laughing when they are playing together.

    James: What sound or noise do you hate?

    Kristi: ANY noise when I am trying to sleep.

    James: What is your favorite curse word?

    Kristi: Shit

    James: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

    Kristi: Professional Dancer or a lawyer.

    James: What profession would you not like to do?

    Kristi: Collecting trash or working with sewage.

    James: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

    Kristi: I can't think of anything I'd like to hear...but I'd love for Jesus to hold me in his arms.

  3. Sarah B. // August 9, 2008 at 10:14 AM  

    I will be honest, I have often pretended to be famous and wonder what I would say so I think this is FUN....thanks Jon for giving me this chance.

    James: Sarah, what is your favorite word?

    Sarah: Foshizzle....I am always thinking of ways I can use it and hoping for those opportunities to come up.

    James: What is your least favorite word?

    Sarah: Cunt, I have to agree with my good blogger friend Gina, I shiver when I hear the word.

    James: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

    Sarah: Music...and a good story....they can both move me behind what I can understand.

    James: What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

    Sarah: Hatred....seeing hatred can be so hard.

    James: What sound or noise do you love?

    Sarah: Laughter...especially children's laughter.

    James: What sound or noise do you hate?

    Sarah: People eating...I have a hard time staying calm when I can hear people chewing.

    James: What is your favorite curse word?

    Sarah: The only one I really use is shit...I don't know if this is considered a cuss word but my all time favorite cuss words are "that's crap"...I use that way too much.

    James: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

    Gina: I would love to be an event planner or a travel agent..I love to do research and put things together and plan.

    James: What profession would you not like to do?

    Sarah: Doctor, I have a hard time with blood and seeing people in pain, it would be a tough job for me.

    James: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

    Sarah: Welcome Home!