I'm giving away only one, so hurry up and be the first one to contact me or you might miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity!
If you want a myopic, eighty-nine year old, dirty-white, American Eskimo, she's yours.
You must be willing to deal with a few issues. She eats only boiled chicken, plain rice cakes, and outrageously expensive kibble that can only be bought from her vet. You must be ok with non stop barking that sounds like an elderly woman that has smoked since she was twelve. Periodic vomit, that is really just her last six drinks of water with a few blades of grass, must not upset you. Flatulence so bad that GITMO, has deemed it cruel and unusual punishment must not be a problem for you. She has absolutely no concept of where she is, in relation to other objects in the room. This causes her to walk too slowly in front of you or, makes her try to occupy the space that you are currently occupying. You should be willing to scrape crud out of her Sammy Davis Jr. eyes every forty-five minutes. And please, do not forget to administer her phenobarbital every morning or theses issues may worsen!
If interested, call me ASAP. And please, don't tell Gina or her grandmother about this. It will be our little secret. I just have to figure out what to tell them!
Tomorrow is a day of remembrance at Dylan and Megan's school. All the kids will be wearing red, white, and blue and there will be a moment of silence. At dinner tonight we were talking about it. Megan asked what we will be remembering tomorrow. Gina explained that it is a day to remember a bunch of people that died.
The kids immediately began listing names of dead relatives. "You mean like Grandma Birdie?" "Are we remembering Grandpa Gundry?"
Gina and I started to explain it, but just tapped danced around the subject. I guess we felt that it was too much for a kindergartner and a second grader to digest during family dinner.
Then I thought, where do I want my children to hear about important things like 9/11? From friends making casual comments about it, or wait until they get old enough to surf the web and come across idiotic conspiracy theories like 'Loose Change'?
So I began to explain it to them as best as I could and realized how do you sum up such a horrific cowardly act to your child. How do you make them understand that there are people in this world that hate them, simply because of where there were born. How do you explain to them that tomorrow they might see mommies, daddies, teachers and friends cry for people they never met. How do you make them feel safe and let them know this won't happen to them. How do you let them know that there won't be terrorists on our plane in October when we travel to Indiana for their Great-Grandmother's 100th birthday party.
I guess you just do your best. You put it plainly and simply and if they have more questions, they'll ask. And at the end of the night you tuck them into bed, kiss their check, and snuggle them a little tighter, and pray.
I cannot wait until the first Wednesday of November.
Apparently he's changed his name to Joe and he's stumping for McCain.
Well, no thanks to your comments, we had a wonderful day. After days of contemplation and planning and miscommunications and lack of communication and misinterpretation and a big old argument I finally planned a great day. Once we shuttled the kids off to camps and sitters it was about 1:30pm and we headed to the Newport Marriott's pure blu Spa for a day of relaxation.
We spent the day lounging by the salt water lap pool in our own private cabana talking, reading, napping and swimming. We sipped champagne and wine. They were four packs of the bottles you get on the airplane. Gina smuggled them in because after spending all that money on the spa, our asses were too cheap to buy booze at hotel mark-up prices.
We enjoyed the dry sauna, eucalyptus steam room, and whirlpool. Then it was off to our massages. We each enjoyed a Cool blu Signature massage and then showered and met in the hotel bar for a cocktail. We then walked across the street to Fashion Island and walked around. Finally ending up at P.F. Changs for dinner.
It was a very nice relaxing day of adult conversation and reconnecting. Through it all Gina and I discovered what are true calling is. We are going to become authors of a book or website that reviews spas for couples. Now we just need to find a lot of sitters, vacation time from work and some high roller to fund our project! If you know of someone that might be interested in helping us out, please have the call us. It would be a grueling job, but we're up for the challenge!
...then text ChaCha.
It seems like every day I hear of something new in the cyberworld, and this is the latest. Simply text any question you have to ChaCha and they will text you back your answer. AMAZING! It's free except for your standard texting charges. Try it...go ahead, you know you want to.
